Shades of Brown

Chocolate Espresso Cupcake
Chocolate chiffon cupcake dipped in chocolate glaze, filled with espresso cream, and topped with toffee bits

Turtle Cheesecake
Brownie fudge, chocolate cheesecake, and caramel cheesecake stacked and topped with coconut, glazed walnuts, caramel and chocolate sauce




My sister Becky suggested that I keep a portfolio of the desserts I create for my job. This morning, it occurred to me that this blog is as good a place as any to file my "creations." But after appraising the dessert tray, I realized that I am presently lodged in what I call the "brown phase." Chocolate or caramel or both drizzled, glazed, enrobed, or flavored the majority of the dessert choices.

I love chocolate and caramel; they are the epitome of what is familiar and comfortable. As I looked at the array of dessert on the tray, I felt like I had been lolling in a bubble that was comfortable and familiar. That's a little melodramatic, I know, but I did feel like Betty Crocker rigged up in a chef coat. To embody the image of a good cook was not why I decided on my profession. I can be Betty at home! At work, I wanted to explore the possibilities. Intrinsically, I don't go for anything outrageous. I opt for simple desserts because that's what I know and like. My ambition is to be able to fully understand the ingredients that I work with so that I can add elements to the plate that would highlight the extraordinary qualities of these simple things.

Obviously, I am presently not in tune with my ambition. I distract everything with chocolate and caramel. I've worked for the same restaurant for almost three years and I can honestly say that I am not burnt out. There's so much more to learn! Even in a corporate-owned restaurant, I am given practically free rein to create. A couple of company recipes have to stay on the menu but I do the rest. I plan the dessert menu, tinker with my own recipes, bake the desserts, and instruct the pantry cooks on their execution. I am never bored. Except lately, because of the economic downturn, my position has been drastically cut to a part-time job and I decided to settle for desserts that I can quickly slap together. Without realizing it, I sort of checked out and lost the desire to go the extra mile. Consequently, I now feel stuck in a rut.

I started this blog for two reasons. First, I wanted to take advantage of Rosalind's interest in learning to prepare the food we eat. I thought the blog would be the structure to our lessons. Second, I felt the need to try, at least try, to get to know the various technologies (i.e. pretty much anything computer related) that seemed to have taken over the world. In the last decade, I have succeeded in ignoring any technological advancement.

But it now appears that there is a third and perhaps a more pressing reason: I need to figure out what to do next, career wise. In the back of my mind, I must have known this all along, because, honestly, I can't think of a better approach in sorting out my dilemma than to step back and start from scratch, armed with the genuine enthusiasm of an eight year old, and revisit the reasons why I fell in love with baking in the first place.